Is Ruth Harbor An Addiction Ministry?
How Habits Form—and Grace Transforms
The Ruth Harbor Team At the TAC Midwest Training Conference at Redeemer Church in Winterset
In early April, the Ruth Harbor team had the opportunity to participate in a training conference hosted at Redeemer Church in Winterset. The conference was co-hosted by Redeemer in partnership with The Addiction Connection located in Jacksonville, FL.
Going into the conference, if you had asked the Ruth Harbor team if we minister to people with addictions, we would have said, no. After attending the conference, we would now answer in the affirmative.
Truth be told, every woman who comes to Ruth Harbor struggles with addiction. For most, it’s drugs. To be clear, we are not a treatment center, but we certainly serve women who struggle with addiction.
Addictions Are Habits
Dr. Mark Shaw, the founder of The Addiction Connection, opened the conference by providing this definition of addiction:
The persistent, habitual thoughts, words, and actions associated with excessive pleasure-seeking which is know by the user to be harmful and is ultimately a sinful, willful choice to disobey God whether the person acknowledges it or not.
By acknowledging that an addiction is a habit, we shift the concept away from something only ‘other people’ deal with and move towards examining our own sinful habits.
Yes, addiction often has a physical, chemical attribute to it, but at its core, addiction is a habit we use to minimize the pain we feel by maximizing pleasure. For some, this involves drugs; for others, it involves food, or alcohol, or shopping, or pornography, or smoking, or sports, or any other thought, word, or deed. The list of things we pursue to help mask the pain or disappointment we feel in an area of our life is at the heart of addiction.
I understand this is a nuanced understanding of addiction, but as a Christ-centered ministry, we also recognize that sin is at the root of all of our problems and the Bible both describes the problem (sin) and the cure (the Cross).
The Five Characteristics of A Habit
When we define addiction as a habit we can then apply the Five Characteristics of A Habit outlined by Jay Adams:
Automatic: a habit runs on autopilot. Once learned, it often happens without thinking, like scrolling social media when anxious.
Unconscious: a habit hides in the background and you may not even notice you are doing it, like complaining, comparing, or blaming.
Skillful: habits improve with practice, even if they are harmful. The longer you have practiced it, the better you at doing it and hiding it, like lying and using chewing gum or mouth wash to cover up their use of alcohol.
Comfortable: habits feel safe, even if they are not. They can offer afalse sense of control or security, like binge eating after a hard day because it provides temporary comfort in spite of the long-term health consequences.
Embedded: over time, habits become a part of your character and identity—they define who you are. We often refer to this as “second nature,” and tell ourselves and others, “it’s just who I am.”
The Long Road From Hurt to Hope
The problems Ruth Harbor moms struggle with are certainly rooted in the pain from their past, and, without question, the habits they have formed over their lifetime are attempts to minimize the pain. Unfortunately, much of how they now see themselves and the value they place on themselves is rooted in this habit and it now defines them: drug user, felon, ex-prisoner, then add mother and parent.
Recently, one of our Ruth Harbor moms was doing well. She was working through her program phases and was moving towards graduation. While on a weekend pass, she got high. We heard about it when her parole officer called to let us know she had failed her drug test.
Our resident was heartbroken. She had made so much progress, but this felt like a tremendous setback. After confirming that she had not brought drugs into the home, we were able to have a very open and transparent conversation with her. She later shared with Casey, our house mom, that this was the first time anyone had demonstrated grace to her. This moment became a turning point, not because of perfection, but because of grace.
Do you see how complex these issues are when we are dealing with long-term, habitual sin that completely molds and shapes how a young woman is viewed by others and by herself? This kind of healing does not happen overnight, but over a long period of time walking in a trusted, grace-filled relationship.
Because of your prayers and support, we’re able to walk with women through moments just like this. Your partnership helps us extend the kind of grace that breaks old habits and invites lasting hope.
Gospel Transformation: Not Surviving; Thriving
In the past year, we have reshaped Ruth Harbor’s tag line. In 2023, we said that Ruth Harbor provides a “home where God’s love transforms lives.” This is true, but we grew to understand that when we talk about “transformed lives,” for the moms at Ruth Harbor this meant going from “surviving to thriving.”
In 2024, we changed our tag line to read, “Where God’s Love Transforms Lives From Surviving to Thriving.” How does this happen? This kind of transformation only happens through the gospel and through a lot of prayer.
When we talk about “gospel transformation,” this happens when the Holy Spirit gives us new life in Jesus. The old nature (our sinful nature), that is riddled and ruled with sinful habits, is replaced by a new, living nature. The old nature’s identity is built upon self; the new nature’s identity is built upon Christ. The old nature’s identity is confronted by trials and suffering and seeks pleasure to minimize pain; the new nature’s identity is confronted by trials and suffering and the Holy Spirit sanctifies us in our trials to make us more like Christ.
This week we remember the Passover, when the Lamb of God was slain for the sins of the World. Like us, Jesus, who was tempted as we are tempted, had to wrestle with self. In the garden, He prayed and asked the Father, “O My Father, if it is possible, let this cup pass from Me; nevertheless, not as I will, but as you will” (Matthew 26:29).
Addiction is sin, and each of us have habits that are sinful. Let this be an encouragement this week to examine your own life for sin that has become automatic, unconscious, skillful, comfortable, and embedded, and choose the way of the cross.
This is our prayer for the families of Ruth Harbor and it is our prayer for you if you have not surrendered your will to Jesus. Accept the sacrifice He made on the cross for you so you can have new life in Him.
If the topic of addiction is of interest to you, consider reading The Heart of Addiction: A Biblical Perspective by Mark Shaw.
Ministry Outreach
Executive Director, Chris Eller, had the privilege of speaking to the Iowa Mother’s Association last month. They also blessed us with a carload of donations to replenish our household supplies. Opportunities to promote this ministry are essential to connecting with our community as well as communicating our mission.
If you would like to request RHM staff to share our mission at your next group event, please contact our office at info@ruthharbor.org.
The Power of Boundaries
Last month, our counseling partner Sherry, with Bright Light Counseling, P.C., conducted a training for our direct care staff on the topic of establishing healthy boundaries.
Equipping our staff with the tools to implement physical, emotional, time, and mental boundaries will be helpful not only for them personally, but also in coaching our residential clients to do the same. Our thanks to Sherry for sharing her knowledge with our team!